| | This is a transcribed copy of Episode 12. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
(At the photobooth, Matthew and Trisha are making out)
Belinda: Ok, on the count of three say, "Prom!" One, two—Mr. Derringer, Yard-Mr. Derringer! Might I remind you lot that this is a school result! Hands where I tin can see them!
Matthew: My apologies, Tiffin Lady Belinda. The beauty of this brute here often causes me to deed in a way that is, well, less than advisable.
Belinda: Oh my, somebody's gonna be walking very funny tomorrow morning. (laughs)
Matthew: Well my honey sweet morsel, shall we continue?
Belinda: One, two, three.
Matthew and Trisha: Prom!
(Matthew and Trisha walk off and Saison and Blaine walk over)
Saison: Oh bonjour, Lunch Lady Belinda.
Belinda: (sighs) Howdy, Saison Margeurite. Please embrace Blaine in a romantic still appropriate manner.
Blaine: Um, actually, I've prepared a speech.
Belinda: For a moving picture?
Blaine: Saison Margeurite, tonight I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
Belinda: Did you just steal Lou Gehrig's retirement speech communication?
Blaine: What? No! She completes me!
Belinda: That'south Jerry Maguire.
Blaine: Hey I'g real! What you go is what y'all see! What yous trying to exercise to me?
Belinda: Those are the lyrics to an old Jennifer Lopez song.
Saison: Oh Blaine, straight up now tell me do you want to dear me forever? Or am I caught in a hit and run?
Belinda: Augh... you give love a bad name. Wha—oh, goddamnit! Now you got me doing it!
Saison and Blaine: What?
Belinda: Ugh... forget it. The babies you brand this night are gonna be and then stupid. Merely say prom.
Blaine: Prom!
Saison: How do you say, prom?
(Mackenzie and Steven walk through every bit Bridget greets them)
Bridget: How-do-you-do, and welcome to the 2012 Overland Park High School Prom: All Dogs Go to Sky Nether the Bounding main in Hawaii.
Steven: (chuckles) My, my, that is quite a unique theme for a high school prom.
Mackenzie: Yeah, we had some issues on the prom committee this year.
(Shay and Mackenzie are shown in a flashback)
Shay: Under the sea!
Mackenzie: Hawaii!
Shay: Under the sea!
Mackenzie: Hawaii!
Judith: Um, h-hey guys, is my All Dogs Become to Sky theme still on the table, because, um, I retrieve information technology'southward a existent winner.
(Present)
Mackenzie: A compromise was reached... let'due south go get some punch.
(Steven and Mackenzie walk off before Tanner walks in)
Bridget: Hello and welcome to the 2012 Overland Park—
(Tristan walks in)
Tristan: Oh my god! Look at your outfit! I swear, if I was into ladies, I'd be elbow deep in you correct now.
Bridget: How-do-you-do.
Tristan: You don't know me. Tristan Mckie. I go to Blue Valley Northwest. Well, that's what do during the solar day. At night, this one plays around in my guts.
Bridget: Yay.
Tanner: I'm Tanner Christiansen.
Bridget: The answer to a question I never asked.
Tristan: You lot're probably familiar with Tanner's work. Well, not in the way I'm familiar with information technology. (giggles) I'one thousand talking well-nigh sex. Sweetie, what'due south the name of that thing you are, again?
Tanner: I'm the quarterback of the football squad, Tristan.
Tristan: So much technical jargon, jeezus louisus! Exit the states ladies in the kitchen, where we belong, right Red? I'm only kidding! Obvi!
Bridget: I'm beingness paid fifty dollars to stand here, not to talk to Rick Taylor's lesser. Go abroad now.
Tristan: (laughs) My God, isn't she great?! She's like the love kid of Daria and Miranda from Sexual practice and The City!
Tanner: Don't say what y'all're well-nigh to say.
Tristan: I've had this dream several times where Cynthia Nixon and I are dating. Except she has a penis. Side note, it's huge. And in this dream, she repeatedly just—God I'grand getting wet simply thinking virtually it. Come hither, you!
(Tanner and Tristan walk off)
(Brittnay and Connor Devarnan are shown in Brittnay's automobile)
Brittnay: (sighs) At present, just endeavor and tell me that that was a second rate mitt job!
Connor: It was cool.
Brittnay: Damn right it was cool! Now, time to get in there and take my rightful identify as—(Brittnay gets out of the car and Connor drives off) What the fuck!
Connor: Later!
(Judith and Rachel drive into the parking lot in a motorcycle)
(Rachel and Judith enter the prom and Bridget greets them)
Bridget: Welcome to the 2012 Overland Park—why are you wearing a tuxedo?
Judith: Hey! Yes, why am I wearing a tuxedo?
Rachel: It's a women'south cutting!
Bridget: Did that come with a balls and a dick, or did yous buy that separately?
Rachel: Bridget, do you like my dress?
Bridget: You wait like a tampon that was dipped in Skittles. And vomit.
Rachel: Thanks.
(Rachel and Judith walk off as Brittnay enters)
Bridget: Hello and welcome—
Brittnay: Fuck off. (walks off)
Bridget: Don't listen if I practise. (walks off)
(Brittnay goes over to Justin)
Brittnay: Hey. (Brittnay and Justin brand out)
Ashley: Um, that'due south my boyfriend.
Trisha: Yeah! That'due south what you lot become, Ashley Katchadorian! Side by side time you watch the fucking door!
Ashley: Why are y'all guys then mean to me? (she walks off, crying)
Brittnay: (nervous express joy) You know she'southward in charge of snacks, right?
Trisha: Wait, what?
Brittnay: Ashley Kachadorian, is in charge of snacks.
Justin: Uh—Jenna Darabond is in charge of the door.
Trisha: Oh my God, I've made a terrible mistake.
(Mackenzie comes over)
Mackenzie: Alibi me, can someone explain to me why I simply saw bottom right of the pyramid running away from you two in tears?
(Justin walks off)
Trisha: I may take accidentally blamed Ashley Katchadorian for a certain girl-getting-her-arms ripped off debacle.
Brittnay: And I made out with her fellow. Not mistakenly.
Mackenzie: Look a infinitesimal, yous made out with Justin Michaelson?
Brittnay: Yeah. Why? Do you accept a problem with that?
Mackenzie: No, why would I have a problem with that? I don't intendance who Justin Michaelson makes out with. In that location'southward zip between us. I'm in a happy committed relationship with Steven Carmichael. And then (nervous laughter)
Trisha: And then we're certain that Ashley Katchadorian is not in accuse of the door? Cause, cause nosotros need to exist like sure... certain sure.
Mackenzie: Goddammit Trisha, this is supposed to be my night!
Brittnay: Your night? I'1000 pitiful, since when does the dark vest to the girl who'due south gonna come in 2nd for Prom Queen?
Mackenzie: You take that back, bitch!
Brittnay: I take nothing back.
Mackenzie: TAKE IT Back!
(Shay and Than walk over)
Shay: Well, well, well, sounds like there's discord on Cheer Mountain.
Mackenzie: Gay Van Buren, why the hell did you bring Jonathan Getslinhaumer as your prom date?
Shay and Than: Hey, that'southward not my name!
Mackenzie: Never mind, I get it.
Than: Hey! Girl with the black hair! I don't need to stand hither and be berated by the likes of you. Than is popular now. And Than is gonna hang out with the rest of the popular dudes... Yo dudes, await up!
Tanner: Fuck off.
Justin: Fuck off.
Matthew: Optics off the butts.
Than: ...That's only this inside joke we have. Pop guy thing.
Tanner: No it'due south not!
Than: Haha, fuck you lot too, there buddy! Oh those guys. (starts crying) I only—I'thou sorry simply... you want some punch? Be right back! (walks out the door)
Deandra: (walks in) Who the fuck was that?
Brittnay: Oh my God, Deandra, it's-it's so good to run into yous.
Shay: Can I just say, um, I honey your clothes!
Deandra: It's the exact same clothes I've been wearing every day to schoolhouse.
Shay: No, no I know, but it'due south-it's-information technology's and so good today.
Mackenzie: Well, um, it'south really nice to run into that you've really kept a positive attitude about all this.
Deandra: Uh yeah, things are fucking awesome for me. I get to run the hundred meters in the Special Olympics, I lost like twenty-seven pounds—
Trisha: Oh my God! What is your undercover?
Deandra: I had my arms ripped off.
Trsha: Oh, right.
Deandra: And tonight, I get to be the prom queen!
Shay: I'm sorry, excuse... did you say that—
Brittnay: You're going to be prom queen?
Deandra: Uh yeah, expect at me!
Mackenzie: Exactly, look at you.
Deandra: Mackenzie Zales, Shay Van Buren, Handjob Girl, yous clearly aren't familiar with the concept of a compassion vote, are you lot? Put yourself in the shoes of an average Overland Park student. Who are you gonna vote for for Prom Queen? A cheerleader? Perhaps. An Overland Park socialite? Maybe. Oh, but wait, what's this? A girl with no arms? Well, if I don't vote for her, I nigh assuredly volition burn in the fiery fire of hell fire for all eternity. In fact, let me vote for her twice to ensure that she never experiences heartbreak or thwarting always again in her entire life. After all, she does accept no arms. Badabap, one ii eight, prom queen.
Nubbins: (over PA) Your attention please... will the five students nominated for Prom Queen please brand their fashion to the front of the stage. Prom has been going for eight minutes, which of form means it's time for the most important upshot of the evening!
Deandra: See ya up there. Dumb whores.
| Transcripts |
| Season ane (Episodes 1-13) | Episode i
"The New Girl" | Episode 2
"French Grade" | Episode iii
"Sister Act" | Episode 4
"The Most Popular Boys in Schoolhouse" | Episode v
"$57 Dejeuner" | Episode 6
"The Letter Zero" | Episode 7
"The Least Pop Girls in Schoolhouse" | Episode 8
"3rd Grade" | Episode 9
"Semen on Root Beer" | Episode ten
"Gay Van Buren" | Episode 11
"Deandra's Arms" | Episode 12
"Prom, Role 1" | Episode 13
"Prom, Office 2" | |
| Flavor 2 (Episodes xiv-30) | Episode fourteen
"Pregnant Meme" | Episode 15
"The New Reality" | Episode xvi
"Fatherhood" | Episode 17
"Justice and a Slim Jim" | Episode xviii
"Atchison" | Episode 19
"Reality Bites" | Episode xx
"Babes Having Babies" | Episode 21
"Cheer Practice" | Episode 22
"Miss Cinnabon" | Episode 23
"Date Night" | Episode 24
"Pizza Street" | Episode 25
"Fun Times At Oak Park Mall" | Episode 26
"Cheer Tryouts" | Episode 27
"Epic Cheerleader Meltdown" | Episode 28
"Cheer Nationals, Part 1" | Episode 29
"Cheer Nationals, Part 2" | Episode xxx
"Cheer Nationals, Part 3" | |
| Season 3 (Episodes 31-58) | Episode 31
"Mr. McNeely" | Episode 32
"Hamlet" | Episode 33
"Petty Miss Overland Park" | Episode 34
"A Very Deandra Thanksgiving" | Episode 35
"Farmers' Market" | Episode 36
"Afterward School Activities" | Episode 37
"Bestie Twenty-four hours" | Episode 38
"Mall Santa" | Episode 39
"New Yr" | Episode 40
"This is Gonna Suck" | Episode 41
"Taco Taco" | Episode 42
"Dr Greg Converse" | Episode 43
"New Uniforms" | Episode 44
"Hipster Coffee Shop" | Episode 45
"Hipster Babe" | Episode 46
"Pizza Street Buffet" | Episode 47
"Vintage Cheer Uniforms" | Episode 48
"Van Buren Family Strategy Meeting" | Episode 49
"Follow the Leader" | Episode 50
"Parent-Instructor Conference, Role 1" | Episode 51
"Role Play" | Episode 52
"Boobs Boobs Boobs" | Episode 53
"Cafeteria Baby" | Episode 54
"State Semi-Finals" | Episode 55
"State Championships, Part 1" | Episode 56
"Land Championships, Part 2" | Episode 57
"Land Championships, Function three" | Episode 58
"State Championships, Part four" | |
| Season iv (Episodes 59-70) | Episode 59
"Bring Me Everyone" | Episode 60
"Brittnay's First Day" | Episode 61
"This Isn't Going to End Well" | Episode 62
"Shaw" | Episode 63
"Mercenary Cheerleader" | Episode 64
"Cheer Tots" | Episode 65
"Van Buren Family unit Reunion" | Episode 66
"Featuring Daft Poop" | Episode 67
"Crank Hard With a Last Action Cliffhanger" | Episode 68
"End of the Year Party, Part one" | Episode 69
"Finish of the Year Party, Part ii" | Episode seventy
"Terminate of the Year Party, Role three" | |
| Season 5 (Episodes 71-82) | Episode 71
"Summer Abroad" | Episode 72
"Bonjour" | Episode 73
"Nude Beach" | Episode 74
"The New Team USA" | Episode 75
"Glow Up" | Episode 76
"Manus Modeling" | Episode 77
"The Morning After" | Episode 78
"Block Eaters" | Episode 79
"The Truth" | Episode 80
"Hansel & Gretel" | Episode 81
"Taken" | Episode 82
"The Final Walk" | |
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